Parker brings one of her hands up to wipe her face, eyes and nose and cheek a shade of red and pink. Her other hand curls its fingers around her jacket like she doesn't ever want to let go (she will have to one day, but not now, not today, should, but can't, would make it easier the earlier she does but how could she, when she holds her like that and feels so warm and is so kind and so gentle and has her fingers in her hair and keeps her close, so close?). Lays her cheek back on her shoulder, facing her neck, so pretty and pale. Still hurt, still a heavy pain in her heart. Parker sighs through her nose, closing her eyes for a moment.
She should let go in that moment. Like ripping a bandaid. Easier when it's still early (but it is already so late). Sometimes she can feel it, the way there is more than Angel in there and it wrenches in her heart like poison. Watches across the room, sometimes, when she isn't looking, and it clogs in her throat, in the pit of her stomach. Every day a little harder to bear.
And then, she says things like that. Parker knows what her apology meant. Angel still does not. And one day she will, maybe, when she inevitably dives into her destruction. Somehow.
Parker lifts her head from her shoulder finally, eyes still wet and agonisingly sad. Looks over her face, her eyes, her mouth. Doesn't have it in her to say that she wants to rip away from all of this. That she might just become her own Pandora. There is no courage in her to speak such words. She slips a hand against the side of her neck, tracing her thumb over her jaw. Frowns, because it hurts. How can she let go of her when she has barely held on?
Instead, she can only beg. ]
You're here now. [ And in this moment, just for now, Parker wants to wrap around her and shield her from all the death and misery she will one day bring and she knows there will be no turning back, no forgiveness, but she keeps it a secret. For this one moment, she can keep it away from her.
She leans in, kisses her soft, barely a touch. Leans back again, to look to her eyes. ]
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Parker brings one of her hands up to wipe her face, eyes and nose and cheek a shade of red and pink. Her other hand curls its fingers around her jacket like she doesn't ever want to let go (she will have to one day, but not now, not today, should, but can't, would make it easier the earlier she does but how could she, when she holds her like that and feels so warm and is so kind and so gentle and has her fingers in her hair and keeps her close, so close?). Lays her cheek back on her shoulder, facing her neck, so pretty and pale. Still hurt, still a heavy pain in her heart. Parker sighs through her nose, closing her eyes for a moment.
She should let go in that moment. Like ripping a bandaid. Easier when it's still early (but it is already so late). Sometimes she can feel it, the way there is more than Angel in there and it wrenches in her heart like poison. Watches across the room, sometimes, when she isn't looking, and it clogs in her throat, in the pit of her stomach. Every day a little harder to bear.
And then, she says things like that. Parker knows what her apology meant. Angel still does not. And one day she will, maybe, when she inevitably dives into her destruction. Somehow.
Parker lifts her head from her shoulder finally, eyes still wet and agonisingly sad. Looks over her face, her eyes, her mouth. Doesn't have it in her to say that she wants to rip away from all of this. That she might just become her own Pandora. There is no courage in her to speak such words. She slips a hand against the side of her neck, tracing her thumb over her jaw. Frowns, because it hurts. How can she let go of her when she has barely held on?
Instead, she can only beg. ]
You're here now. [ And in this moment, just for now, Parker wants to wrap around her and shield her from all the death and misery she will one day bring and she knows there will be no turning back, no forgiveness, but she keeps it a secret. For this one moment, she can keep it away from her.
She leans in, kisses her soft, barely a touch. Leans back again, to look to her eyes. ]
Stay with me tonight.