[ Perhaps it is better that they no longer share thoughts, because that would likely destroy her, sit in her chest and rot her from the inside out. Because that was the thing, was it not? The constant conflict and distrust- did they care for her or the thing in her head? She has always been sure that it was the latter, but with Angel she had always hoped to be the first. Because Parker cared, Parker alone, not anything else. No second thoughts in her assertion of feelings. She had grown too good at shutting out the mind that was not hers to have any doubt. After all, standing there, her heart still beats off by just looking at her and it burns and it hurts and she has no right to it but she wants to reach out and feel her warmth again. She knows this. Does noy make it any easier. And really, she could explain it to her, why, why, why, but she will not as she was not asked and even if she was, it would only makenit worse. Harder for both of them. Parker did not want to tear herself away from her. But she could never commit to a life time of being bond to the hive, did not trust them, too many ways they were lying. She would have stayed connected with only her if she could. But it was all or nothing.
It is why it hurts so much. All of her calls were made by her. All of her feelings belonged to her. And maybe it is time to realise Angel's is not the same. It guts her. Wonders, if they had been of different broods she would still want her. If they had met by chance, if she would still feel for her. If she had never had a symbiote if she would spare her a second look at all.
A small part of her hopes as much.
Parker looks away when Angel pulls the bracelet off. To her hand, stupid, shitty little ring won in some carnival. Worthless in value, more important than all the treasures of all the universes combined. Does not take it off.
When she looks up, when Angel speaks, Parker sets her jaw. Swallows dry. Says nothing at all, then. There is nothing to say (there are so many things to say). So she only stands there. Arms by her side, shoulders straight, always a good posture, but face so tired and pale. Brings her face up again, eyes then, and she can easily look neutral and unnaffected, even angry, but she isn't, an abyss of guilt, of sadness, easy to decypher in her eyes for only a few.
Unfortunately for her, one of the few was standing right in front of her. ]
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It is why it hurts so much. All of her calls were made by her. All of her feelings belonged to her. And maybe it is time to realise Angel's is not the same. It guts her. Wonders, if they had been of different broods she would still want her. If they had met by chance, if she would still feel for her. If she had never had a symbiote if she would spare her a second look at all.
A small part of her hopes as much.
Parker looks away when Angel pulls the bracelet off. To her hand, stupid, shitty little ring won in some carnival. Worthless in value, more important than all the treasures of all the universes combined. Does not take it off.
When she looks up, when Angel speaks, Parker sets her jaw. Swallows dry. Says nothing at all, then. There is nothing to say (there are so many things to say). So she only stands there. Arms by her side, shoulders straight, always a good posture, but face so tired and pale. Brings her face up again, eyes then, and she can easily look neutral and unnaffected, even angry, but she isn't, an abyss of guilt, of sadness, easy to decypher in her eyes for only a few.
Unfortunately for her, one of the few was standing right in front of her. ]