[ she lingers, letting him speak and - there is no answer to this. There will never be an answer to this, they will never have a good answer for it. They just have a series of bandages they stretch over their wounds and she sucks in a breath. ]
This - ?
[ Her fingers lift off him to go to her own uniform, leaning back so he can see down the line of her body. Moves to her zipper and tugs it down, a slow gesture that's too purposeful to be a mistake. ] This - this you never have to share, you know that.
[ Down, down, down it comes and there's nothing underneath - not when she's on down time at least, as she leans in, hangs in close in the way he can't look away. The pallid soft skin he has traced over a dozen times, a canvas so far as she's also just so untouched, so soft under his fingers - and the sound she makes on the edge of her words is so close, so here, the way she always sounds when he's touching her. ] This is all yours.
[ The one thing she can give him alone. Using it, always using parts of herself, in kindness and cruelty. It's what she knows how to do. ]
[ But that's not all, is it? Because that's what he gets, but he always wants more. He has more than others, but he still wants more-- he wants her entirely. He wants to have more than the gift of touching her. He tries to follow when she pulls back, but stops half-way when she moves her hands and there's a sudden drop in the pit of his stomach.
Parker knows, oh, he knows, that she's reeling him in with the way she knows best. He loves mapping her skin with fingers and lips, his heart skips every time he thinks about all those stolen nights with his head between her legs, or her making him gasp her name over and over, or-- Christ, just a look makes him waver, how pathetic is that? The control she has over him doesn't make him feel uncomfortable, but sometimes it's scary. He is aware of it, and part of it is because he knows she needs that and he's giving, he lets her take it, he always does. He wishes she didn't so often, but it's how things are between them. As soft and caring and giving as it is destructive and unhealthy. It's a very fine threaded balance.
Parker grabs her wrists, gently enveloping his fingers around them, and tugs her closer again, pulling her arms around his neck, pressing her chest to his softly. ]
So am I.
[ He finally admits in a small voice, pressing his forehead to hers as he holds his arms around her waist. But he is all of himself. He is not anything if not hers - but only hers. And he trusts her, he trusts her to know that she wouldn't share him with anyone else, but he knows that she must want. He just will never allow it.
He leans back a little, to look at her, and then presses a simple kiss to her cheek. An apology if he ever gives one. He can't belong to anyone else. He wouldn't stand it. His heart is simultaneous too much and not enough for that. And it belongs to Angel alone. ]
[ She leaves herself open to him. She's so easy to him, she always is. Because there's something to the times he crawls over her - and more to the times she's crawled over him. Held him down by his wrists and -
she raises a hand, flat to his heart and leans into his throat where he is that little bit taller than her. Not content with his -- apology of a kiss, his gentle push away - he's always feeling so sorry for himself and she just cannot stand it when she's given him more than anyone else. ]
Then why are you pulling away from me? [ She tilts her face up to his jaw, mouthing the words in a brush of a kiss. ] When do you want to leave me? Why aren't I good enough?
[ She lets out the breath she was holding in a way that's deliberately tickling. Gentle washing against his cliffs. ] I just want us to be one, I just want to be as close to you as I can be?
[ To feel how he presses into her, to feel the shudder of his thoughts as he sighs her name like she was something precious to him. ]
[ Parker doesn't say anything, tilting his face into her hair and staring off to nowhere, taking in her scent she has memorised over and over and tries to preserve on his pillow and takes to burying his face in it when she's gone in the mornings - everything he never tells her he whispers into the ghost of her warmth when she's not there.
His hand grip gently to her back, looser fabric with it unzipped at the front. He holds her close, and he knows she knows why. He knows she has all the answers. Forcing him to say it leaves blood in his mouth. ]
You are. [ It's a non-answer, but he knows Angel knows all too well why. He knows she knows he will never give into the symbiote. It hurts every time she asks him to. To stop being himself. To no longer be in control. It makes him feel sick. ] It hurts. [ That she will be gone one day. And how would he ever be able to face that? To know Angel gone. Something else in there. He is a coward that doesn't want to face that.
He tilts his head to her, heart skipping, and presses a kiss to her lips. It hurts. It hurts so much, and maybe it would be better if she drowned him like sirens did to sailors with their songs. ]
[ She sighs, sweet and terrible as he kisses her, a pull back with her eyes close and a shiver that's - she knows she has. For today, for a few days more, she has him again. He will not leave her, them, the us that hums inside of her body.
Hive knows he won't join as the rest of them have, but knows he can't seem to leave it alone. Never turns away from her when she is set on keeping him close and she's never, never fair. Pandora didn't make her believe in fair. It made her believe in taking what was given to her and holding it close because too easily is it ripped away. ( she does not trust anything but now, but here, but close, everything is ash and dust in her fingers. )
Pulls away, searching his eyes, brushing her lips against his brief but not enough - ] Then let me make it stop hurting.
[ He has long left them. The only thread holding him is Angel. She is the unbreakable one that will always pull him back. He should be stronger than this. But he can't-- not yet. What if she's gone tomorrow? What if she's still there for another year? Won't he regret having left?
He blinks his eyes open slowly when she pulls back. Nothing makes him feel as safe as her kiss. Nothing makes him feel as afraid as her warmth. In constant duality. One always stronger than the other.
Parker pulls his hands away from her back to slide them to her hips, slipping under the open uniform. Her skin is warm and soft and his hands are so soft to the flesh, holding on to her there. He leans his forehead on hers, nosing her nose sweetly. He's always so sweet to her. The real Parker under the hard front he hides in from the others. ]
You can't.
[ Because she will never come and he will never stay. ]
[ It's - true. It's irrefutable, and they are a riddle of such things to each other. Why this happened, she supposes, is that they are sadistic. Hungry, pain needing things. Grasping, needing, touch - she just needs to hurt him enough to stay, that's always been the game, and she kisses him, again, a promise inside the set of her mouth as she curves into his touch. A sigh - ]
You're right. [ swallows, eyes down on his mouth, thready. ] All we do is hurt each other. That's all we're good for to each other, aren't we?
[ She presses in, then away again, hovering like she's just water, ebbing in and out from him ( because there's the secret, there's the knot in the cord that makes this a tangled mess, she can't leave him either. He tethers her, binds her, holds her down some days where nothing else will do and she is -- terrified -- she needs him, and she doesn't like needing anything, but she needs how he buries himself in her ). ] So give me that, before you go. I know you want to.
[ She can feel it, taste it, against her tongue and she only knows things so pure that they hurt. Knows how to be hurt by that sick ugly word that bleeds out of every inch of him.
[ He never wants to hurt her. Never. But it's inevitable. She burns him. He burns her. It it goes and goes and goes, without end.
But the moment their lips brushed, he has been reeled in. It's impossible to step away from her. She's so warm and sweet and soft, and he loves her, fuck, he never planned that, but he loves her. Not like you love in the movies or in books. It's different. Under the skin, under the tongue. Knowing the feeling but never ever speaking of it. Never confronting it. A constant denial. She can't, he can't, they can't. It is not a thing that will ever be.
But she tells him to be giving, and Parker does not deny her - never does.
He steps into her, careful kiss to her cheek again. Her lips. Her jaw. Her neck. His hands slide up to her breasts, can feel the slow coil of her warmth spread in his belly and pushing lower. He wants to tell her to come with him. But he will not. He will just do what she tells him to and tilts his face up again to part his lips around hers, and he's gone, drowning, as he slips her tongue in her mouth, pressing his hips to hers and keeping warm hands over her chest.
[ She pushes her jacket the rest of the way off her body, letting it catch at her elbows just briefly as she presses her chest up into him - her head rolling back as he wanders up her neck, as his hand settles on her breast. Given into kissing him.
She knows how to burn, she knows how to work through it, pain was her only constant, and it is now. The jacket drops and her body shivers in his hold. Exposed, sensitive to how he touches her because she always is. Offers herself up always like a thing to be feasted upon, because she likes how he dips over her, gives into her. Settles himself to her like there is something to be had in her porcelain doll body.
Once it's gone, her hands come up again. Arms curving over his shoulders and knotting into his shirt. Scrunching it up in her fingers as she presses in close to him. The warm heat of her to scold him back. A steady coax that she's won even if she knows she's lost. ]
[ Even in the way they dress-- Parker never cared to done the uniform given to them. He has always preferred his own clothing, another thing to make a difference for himself. He makes a soft noise into the kiss as her hands grip into his shirt, but he doesn't want to pull away from her. Not yet. He kisses her until his lungs are burning, and even then he doesn't lean away. Dissolves into a million quick kisses, as he helps her get rid of the jacket.
He shouldn't be doing this. They shouldn't-- but Angel had asked. And Parker wants to. And excuse to delay the inevitable. He never wants to leave her. But he can't stay. She never wants to leave him. But she can't go.
Parker finally pulls back, breathing over her lips. He gets rid of his shirt with her help, doesn't care where it goes, before he starts walking them to her bed, feeling a slight pulse between his legs from only that already, because just like she is easy to him, he is easy for her. He slips his hands to the back of her thighs and slightly up, leaning in for another kiss, because he needs her, needs her always, and he likes her so much he could bleed through it. ]
[ His shirt comes off and her fingers run quick over him, dancing on his skin like this was a goodbye. It's not fair, it's never fair - because sometimes looking at him made her eyes hurt, and he wants to take himself away from her - but she deserves that too.
Stumbles back the steps, trusting him to guide her as barely parts her mouth from his. Desperate, harsh kisses that she breaths in against his mouth, like she's trying to make up for something. Her nails draw against him. Leaves welts of affection as his hands hook against the back of her thighs and tilts with it. Not willing to part from him, only to draw him down into her. ]
[ It takes some effort, but he finally manages to get to the bed. He doesn't immediately go for it, instead stopping short to focus on her kisses and the way her nails draw across his skin and leave red trails. He shivers to it, her demand and pull, and goes with it. Always does.
Parker finally manages to break away from her lips for a second, to kiss the skin of her shoulder. He is soft as he does, his hands coming down to his jeans to fumble awkwardly with his buttons and zipper. It gets a little stuck, and he's distracted for a second, and ends up giving up because it's been too long (one second) that he isn't kissing her. So he does that, hands still on his jeans, but now stopping because he wants to focus on the kiss.
It's hungry at first, almost breathless, but then he-- he thinks. Slows down for a second. He wants her now, fast, dirty, but he wants her slow and gentle. He tries to control himself a little. Tilts his head to part his mouth to hers, stepping in so suffocatingly close. Drown him, drown him. ]
[ She lingers in it, kissing him through his confusion and it turns, when she feels it - hums quietly in contemplation and takes charge of his movements. Feels the bump of the bed behind her, against her legs, the way she's poised to topple into and he might, press her down - she wouldn't mind, this once, if he held her down like he meant to never let go her. But where he stop starts, she - sighs, draws herself away from his mouth.
But it's not to go far, she kisses the side of his mouth, his jaw, his neck. Because she always wants to drown him, in her, likes the way he gasps for air and she wants that now. Get him so worked up he can't think about anything else, until he's desperate against her and only for her. Gets to his shoulder and that's where she sinks down against the bed. One knee up, folding her legs underneath her as she settles and the gesture is drawn out as she kisses down the planes of his chest. Her hands settling against him to brace herself, around the curve of his sides as she moves down, down, down until she's perched at the edge of the bed and her descent draws her level to where his hands had stilled at the waist of his pants.
She finds his hands then, meanly, pushes them away to his sides as she leans in to nuzzle against the top line, at the line of his hips with the warmth of her breath run over him as she finds the button he had managed to get undone in his fumbling and follow after it. Undoing it one by one, biting at the skin of his hips that's exposed. Pulling it red and sensitive between teeth as she hooks it down. Taking it all down and out of her way as she smoothes her hands down his sides as she keeps her eyes lowered on her work.
Right until the last, where her eyes flick up, her hands settling flat, pressed to his hips. Considering him and as she gets his pants down just enough where the tip of his cock is - right there. Her eyes are bright and blue and on him utterly before she lowers her head again, and catches him between her lips. Soft, teasing, warmth of her mouth and the tickle of her breath against him. ]
[ He tries to follow her at first, but she's spreading so many kisses he has a bit of a struggle with it. Instead, he slips a hand behind her back, soft and gentle there, but she also slowly starts to sink in. For a second, he almost follows, to sit next to her, but the hands on his make him stop. He looks a little confused at first but once she pushes them away, Parker feels the warmth bubbling up in the pit of his stomach sink suddenly. He has no idea what to do with his hands. Just looks down to her with his mouth parted in utter stunned silence. Licks his lips carefully, closing his eyes with a shudder as she pulls the sensitive skin of his hip between her mouth. The sound he makes is more like a hiccup, and he braces himself on her shoulders as his knees shake slightly, can feel the skin turning red and bruised as she bites hard on it. And, god, the way she lowers her zipper and-- and just her being there.
As she pushes his jeans down, Parker swallows dryly, looking at her. Redder than the mark she had left on his hip. ]
Are you--
[ He was going to ask if she was sure, but she cuts him off as she exposes more him, still a little soft, but it's about to change as she lowers her head. He closes his eyes, holding on to this moment. As much as he loves giving head, does every time, he can't help not to love the way her mouth feels so good and so warm and it makes his stomach twist a little. Can't help but to be a lot into it either, using his free hand to push his jeans and briefs down to let it fall around his ankles. Parker bends over himself just a fraction, can't help not to, setting a hand flat between her shoulders blades, brushing up and down in gentle caress. ]
Angel-- [ Pleading, begging, whatever she wants it to be. ]
[ She sinks her head down as he gives her space - hardly needs the prompting, apparently, but she's not being subtle. Where she's lost her shirt, bare from the waist up, and the hand on her back is more encouragement. Stretches herself out better, settling her weight on her knees to give herself the leverage as she relaxes herself into it. Her back curling and her body arched into the movement to make it smooth.
Her hands balance her, lets her get the movement she wants as she takes him further into her mouth, as much as she can. He settles heavy against her tongue and she flicks with it as she draws her head back again. One, cold second of the air in contrast to the heat she'd wrapped him in before her hand shifts to cover the base of him in a steadier pressure. Quick little movement as she works him over once, then twice with her fingers, then she moves her mouth around him again, tilting her eyes up again to fix on him as she does it this time. Feeling the jolt of him echo all the way down her to her belly. She's always gotten the same curling warmth any time she touched him and he - responded to her like this. Where he can't seem to manage more than her name.
Which then she does, the worst sort of way: where her mouth closes around him and can taste him, feel him, let him settle in a way that's utterly unforgiving heat and she hums in response, all around him. Just to see - how much she could make him buckle but not quite fall yet. ]
[ Completely at her mercy. That's his state right then.
It's hard to think about anything but her mouth on him. It's not like it's something she indulges in often, so Parker is still trying to keep himself as steady as possible to not to break concentration. It takes all of his will to not to move his hips too much, even more so as she takes more of him into her warm mouth. He holds in his breath, biting his lower lip, a frown of deep concentration to keep steady when he feels her tongue over his sensitive skin. Can feel himself go harder in her mouth and-- Jesus, the hair at the back of his neck stands as she wraps her fingers around him. He swallows, like it's the hardest thing to do, breathing out shakily to try to steady himself.
It almost shatters as she looks up and, yeah, he's watching, how could he not? All red in the cheeks and ears. Closes his eyes with a moan when she works him with her hand and mouth, shuddering from head to toe. It curls inside him, slow and steady, she's so terrible to him.
Not as much as she is when she hums around him and he can't help himself. His knees buckle slightly and Parker quickly holds on to her shoulders for support, higher noise that's almost funny if it wasn't so hotbecause he's definitely a bottom. ]
O-oh, fuck-- Fuck--
[ What are words again? All he knows to do is bring the hand from her back to her hair, holding it back gently, still doing his best not to jerk his hips, feeling himself throb with her mouth around him, so unforgiving. ]
[ Has him where she wants when she hears that noise - knows it too well now, and especially how he latches onto her shoulders for support - the roll he can't help and she doesn't mind. Not when she watches his eyes scrunch up and the heat in his face.
( Says something, terrible most like, that it affects her in a way that's not at all symbiote and all about knowing she's the one doing this to him )
Doesn't let up, when his voice cracks, just moves from something slow and deep to - quicker, eyes back down and she moves her hand and mouth to the same tandem and it's quick short little push-pull motions against him. Not interested in giving him space or the ability to hold himself together. Made to get his attention ( like she didn't already have it ) and keep it on her. Nothing else, she'd promised, just this - just this sweet sort of pain that's about over-riding.
When she pulls back at last, panting quick and harsh and her lips red with it, she pushes herself upt that little to kiss his hips again, it's the closest she gets to mercy these days. Her hand still on him, brushing her thumb back and forth again the tip, fingers curled in a steady pressure, as she leans in to kiss his hip again. ]
Parker... [ Soft, slightly rough, sighing into his skin - not that her hand stops its movements, even then. ]
[ If she is trying to make him forget about everything, she is succeeding. His mind is blank, only space for how her mouth feels, how hot her breath is, how perfect her tongue moves. He can't help it when she starts to move her head faster to whimper in defeat. Bucks his his slightly, can't help it, but holds himself back then, mumbles an apology, doesn't-- want to do something she doesn't want him to.
But, jesus, she doesn't stop and Parker has no idea how to defend against that. He doesn't want to. He just holds on tighter to her, constant little noises as she sucks him off, and he can't believe she is doing that, and it feels so good, fuck, what-- why were they even there again?
When she pulls back, it doesn't feel like mercy at all - or maybe saving him from embarrassment from coming way too fast. He gasps like his breath had been stolen from him, bending slightly at the waist, can't open his eyes for a while. So close, pulsing in her hand, all weak. It takes him a couple of seconds to manage to look down at her, whimpering pathetically. ]
Y-Yeah?
[ He can barely talk with her hand still on him, moving his hips in tempo with it a little. Fingers in her hair brushing back gently, and even in this there's a softness to him for her that it's impossible to ignore. He wants to stay here forever, he wants to leave, she makes him feel all the things he shouldn't. ]
[ She waits until she has her attention on her, feels the twitches he can't help and that makes her all to sure of herself when she keeps her eyes on him exactly, like she's daring him to look away when she lowers her head again, turning her face up and kissed up the underside of him. Slow, careful pressure of her lips that is nothing at all to how she had just touched him.
Her fingers are still on him as she pushes herself up onto her knees again, kissing another line up his stomach. So, so, soft, nothing, nothing at all as she knows she has his attention utterly fixed on her. ] You didn't think I'd just let you come, did you?
[ Catches her teeth, bites as she curls her fingers tighter around him - because she'd given him a promise, hadn't she? All they do is hurt each other. Intends to do worse than that as she holds skin between her teeth. ] Come here.
[ She rolls back, and she finally takes her hands off him and uncurling her legs out from underneath her. It's to slide her pants down off of her, exposing herself eagerly as she props herself back on her elbows, legs parted, nothing in his way. Couldn't be more obvious. ] Now.
[ His stomach curls visibly as she keeps her fingers around his length, mouth open and eyes half lidded. Her teeth in his skin make him whimper and he doesn't mind all the little bites and bruises she's going to leave - there are always marks on him after they are together. They make what really hurts be less painful. More bearable. Push through the heart wrench by focusing on scratches and bites. It makes it all easier because it's rough, but gentle.
His fingers tightening around him make him jump slightly, gripping his fingers around her hair out of reflex. He gasps her name, and then it dies out in a whimper when she speaks. Oh-- Jesus. He tries to focus on her again as she pulls away, Licks his lower lip as Angel pushes her pants off, biting on the inside. All for him, all for him. His heart beats. It's not enough, but it's so much already. He kicks off his boots and untangles himself from his pants and socks, before moving to help remove Angel's pants out of her ankles.
He doesn't challenge her command. Just smiles, breathless and red, hair curling outwards a little. Parker steps into her space, standing at the edge over her, His hands are slow and soft even through his callouses, starting at the knees and sliding down her thighs. He takes a firm grip, pulling her closer, slipping his thumb against the v-line of her hips, pressing them there in small circles. There's nothing that he wants to do more than to push inside her, to feel her around him, but he doesn't-- because two can play this game. ]
You're pretty terrible.
[ He accuses fondly, leaning down to kiss her knee. He lowers his shoulders as he kneels, bending over her, grabbing her legs to fit the back of her knee over the curve of his shoulder. Keeps his eyes on hers, because it's a vulnerable position, exposed like that, making sure it's okay (knows it is, but always makes sure). He pushes forward then, slow as he sets his hands low on her belly. Pinning her down like that, until he is low enough to lower his face between her thighs. Breathes hot over her, slow and agonizing, before parting her with his tongue, wet and warm, long, slow strokes, parting his mouth over her to make her sing. ]
[ It takes her by surprise, sudden and sharp the way he grips her thighs and drags her down under him. ( the worst part, that she doesn't mind, not at all, steals a breath out of her, expelled in quick surprise. ) Her legs sliding up against his sides and then over his shoulders - and the worst part is that - she did enjoy it, when she could work him over that, seldom as she did it, how he looked, how he tasted against her tongue. It has an effect she doesn't admit to readily because she knows the role she has to take. But there's a heat pooled between her legs, all low in her belly and his breath tickles so against her.
Should be expecting it, maybe, but maybe she was just expecting him to give into it utterly, not take something back from himself as his mouth closes over her and she's - not quite prepared for that, and less how slow he is with it as it curls over her. Her back arches up in a surprised sound, fingers scrambling for purchase underneath her as she tries to steady herself. No where to go out from underneath him where she's hooked over his shoulders and his hands pin her hips to the bed ( not that she wants to go anywhere ). Hot and aching and slick, but not as much as his mouth and she sucks in a lungful of air as she tries to steady herself where her head rolls back, pushing back on her elbows and twisted up as she feels the draw of his tongue against her, because it's a slow, slow agony and she whimpers high and sweet for him as he gives barely enough at all. ( never made secrets of how much she enjoyed it ). ]
[ There are not a lot of things that feel as good as she does. There is nothing at all, really. The way she moves when he puts his mouth around her. Sometimes that's enough for him. To give, to give all for her. Parker breathes through his mouth as he presses his face tighter against her, languid circles that make it a little messier but he doesn't care for careful when she sounds the way she does. He pulls back, slick hanging on to his lips, to look up at her, and smiles. He likes seeing like that.
Parker leans his head down again. This time it isn't slow and it's all intent of making her unravel. He doesn't give her a break at all and he's not interested in torturing her. He finds with his tongue that little point of pleasure. Drags over it in unkind circles, before latching on to it, sucking with his mouth. Not hard, it's too sensitive for that, but definitely enough to drag her to the edge. Keeps her pinned down so she can't escape, sweet, sweet sounds making him groan against her. Vibrations that she had echoed before now pressed into her. He pulls one hand away from her to himself, gripping his hard-on between his fingers and stroking in tempo with her moans.
Apparently, he's not going to do anything until she unravels and the way he looks at her from between her thighs says it all. He's not interested in slow at the moment. That can come in a bit. He moves a hand to the inside of her thigh, keeping it spread for him to lean as close as he can possibly guess, closing his eyes as he tastes every inch of her, unforgiving in his pursuit. ]
[ There's no pretending when he pulls from her. The sharp fitful cry that works up from him. Because he's being slower, he's teasing, and then he's nothing at all and she hates that even more. But nor can she can get the leverage she wants to draw him back to her. Can only shut her eyes, take deep steadying breaths that whimper on the exhale.
That goes - goes - goes when he comes back to her and it's a direct press, quick and fast and jolts through her in a way that has her legs jerk against his shoulders. Would slip if he wasn't holding her in place like that. Can't come down of it, because he doesn't give her space to. The pressure is steady - there - too much. Her fingers tug, pull, yank in the sheets, her markings hum, the crackle in the air as she rolls and twists under him. A writhing live wire that can't hold herself together when he does this to her. Smells the faint burning where her marked hand grips again into the sheets and the sear that churns in her body leaves smoking fingerprints and - that's not fair either, means she can't even sink her fingers into his hair to stop him from parting from her, pull and tug at him. Not that she can tell if she wants to pull him closer or pull him away, but he's deciding enough for himself, right then.
Feels him catch her by her thigh again, hold her apart for him. Nothing to do but stay there under him and her sounds - pitch, higher, begging, almost, to just - ( god, god, god. ) Never been quiet, at the best of times, but she's not left with much else in the way he grips her, works her over, leaves her so open to him. ( parts of her that no one else gets to know - all his ). ]
[ There are night that she burns him. There are nights that it hurts but he doesn't let her pull away even when she tries to push him, to protect him from the searing of his skin. He never lets her pull away. He doesn't mind dealing with it if it means he can hold on to her, if it means she has her arms around him. He never lets her feel guilty about it either.
Parker doesn't think of it right then however. Hears her moans rising in a beautiful crescendo, can feel the faint hum of her body and he doesn't have to open his eyes to know the glow of her runes. It only serves to spur him on. He pulls away the hand from himself and slips his fingers between hers, gripping gently. Here, here, he's here, and he will so she doesn't have to hold on. He'll catch.
Parker keeps his mouth on her, slipping inside a couple of times, before going back to stroke against where she's too sensitive. Moans against her, all purpose, pressed the humming against that deep part of her. Helping her over the edge and into bliss, not pulling his mouth away from her until he's sure she's finished, letting her slick be the only taste he knows and craves. ]
[ She squirms under him in a constant half made motion that is just as artless as her gasps, knowing she'll hurt him but she's beyond caring as he finds her hand and she sinks her nails into the back of his hand. She'll get him back for this, of course she will, but it's no where near her mind, as she parts her legs further against his mouth, drawn up without his prompting to let him have as space as she can, because she needs more, more, more - the way his tongue presses into her and then riding against her clit and he moans back into her -
- and she comes apart, her back arches, pushing up from her shoulders, toes curled up against his shoulders and her body curling in desperate around the feeling as she calls out sharp and loud, hips bucking in tight little movements against his mouth. Thundering, pulsing and her heart is beating loud in her ears and his movements are torture that she keens for.
Strings all cut loose, she snaps taught and then loose again as she crashed off from the high, eyes shut, singed air and easy limbed. So easy right now she might just forget to hold herself together. Sinking back into the bed again, breathing like he'd made her run for it. ]
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This - ?
[ Her fingers lift off him to go to her own uniform, leaning back so he can see down the line of her body. Moves to her zipper and tugs it down, a slow gesture that's too purposeful to be a mistake. ] This - this you never have to share, you know that.
[ Down, down, down it comes and there's nothing underneath - not when she's on down time at least, as she leans in, hangs in close in the way he can't look away. The pallid soft skin he has traced over a dozen times, a canvas so far as she's also just so untouched, so soft under his fingers - and the sound she makes on the edge of her words is so close, so here, the way she always sounds when he's touching her. ] This is all yours.
[ The one thing she can give him alone. Using it, always using parts of herself, in kindness and cruelty. It's what she knows how to do. ]
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Parker knows, oh, he knows, that she's reeling him in with the way she knows best. He loves mapping her skin with fingers and lips, his heart skips every time he thinks about all those stolen nights with his head between her legs, or her making him gasp her name over and over, or-- Christ, just a look makes him waver, how pathetic is that? The control she has over him doesn't make him feel uncomfortable, but sometimes it's scary. He is aware of it, and part of it is because he knows she needs that and he's giving, he lets her take it, he always does. He wishes she didn't so often, but it's how things are between them. As soft and caring and giving as it is destructive and unhealthy. It's a very fine threaded balance.
Parker grabs her wrists, gently enveloping his fingers around them, and tugs her closer again, pulling her arms around his neck, pressing her chest to his softly. ]
So am I.
[ He finally admits in a small voice, pressing his forehead to hers as he holds his arms around her waist. But he is all of himself. He is not anything if not hers - but only hers. And he trusts her, he trusts her to know that she wouldn't share him with anyone else, but he knows that she must want. He just will never allow it.
He leans back a little, to look at her, and then presses a simple kiss to her cheek. An apology if he ever gives one. He can't belong to anyone else. He wouldn't stand it. His heart is simultaneous too much and not enough for that. And it belongs to Angel alone. ]
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she raises a hand, flat to his heart and leans into his throat where he is that little bit taller than her. Not content with his -- apology of a kiss, his gentle push away - he's always feeling so sorry for himself and she just cannot stand it when she's given him more than anyone else. ]
Then why are you pulling away from me? [ She tilts her face up to his jaw, mouthing the words in a brush of a kiss. ] When do you want to leave me? Why aren't I good enough?
[ She lets out the breath she was holding in a way that's deliberately tickling. Gentle washing against his cliffs. ] I just want us to be one, I just want to be as close to you as I can be?
[ To feel how he presses into her, to feel the shudder of his thoughts as he sighs her name like she was something precious to him. ]
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His hand grip gently to her back, looser fabric with it unzipped at the front. He holds her close, and he knows she knows why. He knows she has all the answers. Forcing him to say it leaves blood in his mouth. ]
You are. [ It's a non-answer, but he knows Angel knows all too well why. He knows she knows he will never give into the symbiote. It hurts every time she asks him to. To stop being himself. To no longer be in control. It makes him feel sick. ] It hurts. [ That she will be gone one day. And how would he ever be able to face that? To know Angel gone. Something else in there. He is a coward that doesn't want to face that.
He tilts his head to her, heart skipping, and presses a kiss to her lips. It hurts. It hurts so much, and maybe it would be better if she drowned him like sirens did to sailors with their songs. ]
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Hive knows he won't join as the rest of them have, but knows he can't seem to leave it alone. Never turns away from her when she is set on keeping him close and she's never, never fair. Pandora didn't make her believe in fair. It made her believe in taking what was given to her and holding it close because too easily is it ripped away. ( she does not trust anything but now, but here, but close, everything is ash and dust in her fingers. )
Pulls away, searching his eyes, brushing her lips against his brief but not enough - ] Then let me make it stop hurting.
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He blinks his eyes open slowly when she pulls back. Nothing makes him feel as safe as her kiss. Nothing makes him feel as afraid as her warmth. In constant duality. One always stronger than the other.
Parker pulls his hands away from her back to slide them to her hips, slipping under the open uniform. Her skin is warm and soft and his hands are so soft to the flesh, holding on to her there. He leans his forehead on hers, nosing her nose sweetly. He's always so sweet to her. The real Parker under the hard front he hides in from the others. ]
You can't.
[ Because she will never come and he will never stay. ]
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You're right. [ swallows, eyes down on his mouth, thready. ] All we do is hurt each other. That's all we're good for to each other, aren't we?
[ She presses in, then away again, hovering like she's just water, ebbing in and out from him ( because there's the secret, there's the knot in the cord that makes this a tangled mess, she can't leave him either. He tethers her, binds her, holds her down some days where nothing else will do and she is -- terrified -- she needs him, and she doesn't like needing anything, but she needs how he buries himself in her ). ] So give me that, before you go. I know you want to.
[ She can feel it, taste it, against her tongue and she only knows things so pure that they hurt. Knows how to be hurt by that sick ugly word that bleeds out of every inch of him.
( love, love, love. ) ]
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But the moment their lips brushed, he has been reeled in. It's impossible to step away from her. She's so warm and sweet and soft, and he loves her, fuck, he never planned that, but he loves her. Not like you love in the movies or in books. It's different. Under the skin, under the tongue. Knowing the feeling but never ever speaking of it. Never confronting it. A constant denial. She can't, he can't, they can't. It is not a thing that will ever be.
But she tells him to be giving, and Parker does not deny her - never does.
He steps into her, careful kiss to her cheek again. Her lips. Her jaw. Her neck. His hands slide up to her breasts, can feel the slow coil of her warmth spread in his belly and pushing lower. He wants to tell her to come with him. But he will not. He will just do what she tells him to and tilts his face up again to part his lips around hers, and he's gone, drowning, as he slips her tongue in her mouth, pressing his hips to hers and keeping warm hands over her chest.
He's gone, gone, because he's hers. ]
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She knows how to burn, she knows how to work through it, pain was her only constant, and it is now. The jacket drops and her body shivers in his hold. Exposed, sensitive to how he touches her because she always is. Offers herself up always like a thing to be feasted upon, because she likes how he dips over her, gives into her. Settles himself to her like there is something to be had in her porcelain doll body.
Once it's gone, her hands come up again. Arms curving over his shoulders and knotting into his shirt. Scrunching it up in her fingers as she presses in close to him. The warm heat of her to scold him back. A steady coax that she's won even if she knows she's lost. ]
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He shouldn't be doing this. They shouldn't-- but Angel had asked. And Parker wants to. And excuse to delay the inevitable. He never wants to leave her. But he can't stay. She never wants to leave him. But she can't go.
Parker finally pulls back, breathing over her lips. He gets rid of his shirt with her help, doesn't care where it goes, before he starts walking them to her bed, feeling a slight pulse between his legs from only that already, because just like she is easy to him, he is easy for her. He slips his hands to the back of her thighs and slightly up, leaning in for another kiss, because he needs her, needs her always, and he likes her so much he could bleed through it. ]
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Stumbles back the steps, trusting him to guide her as barely parts her mouth from his. Desperate, harsh kisses that she breaths in against his mouth, like she's trying to make up for something. Her nails draw against him. Leaves welts of affection as his hands hook against the back of her thighs and tilts with it. Not willing to part from him, only to draw him down into her. ]
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Parker finally manages to break away from her lips for a second, to kiss the skin of her shoulder. He is soft as he does, his hands coming down to his jeans to fumble awkwardly with his buttons and zipper. It gets a little stuck, and he's distracted for a second, and ends up giving up because it's been too long (one second) that he isn't kissing her. So he does that, hands still on his jeans, but now stopping because he wants to focus on the kiss.
It's hungry at first, almost breathless, but then he-- he thinks. Slows down for a second. He wants her now, fast, dirty, but he wants her slow and gentle. He tries to control himself a little. Tilts his head to part his mouth to hers, stepping in so suffocatingly close. Drown him, drown him. ]
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But it's not to go far, she kisses the side of his mouth, his jaw, his neck. Because she always wants to drown him, in her, likes the way he gasps for air and she wants that now. Get him so worked up he can't think about anything else, until he's desperate against her and only for her. Gets to his shoulder and that's where she sinks down against the bed. One knee up, folding her legs underneath her as she settles and the gesture is drawn out as she kisses down the planes of his chest. Her hands settling against him to brace herself, around the curve of his sides as she moves down, down, down until she's perched at the edge of the bed and her descent draws her level to where his hands had stilled at the waist of his pants.
She finds his hands then, meanly, pushes them away to his sides as she leans in to nuzzle against the top line, at the line of his hips with the warmth of her breath run over him as she finds the button he had managed to get undone in his fumbling and follow after it. Undoing it one by one, biting at the skin of his hips that's exposed. Pulling it red and sensitive between teeth as she hooks it down. Taking it all down and out of her way as she smoothes her hands down his sides as she keeps her eyes lowered on her work.
Right until the last, where her eyes flick up, her hands settling flat, pressed to his hips. Considering him and as she gets his pants down just enough where the tip of his cock is - right there. Her eyes are bright and blue and on him utterly before she lowers her head again, and catches him between her lips. Soft, teasing, warmth of her mouth and the tickle of her breath against him. ]
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As she pushes his jeans down, Parker swallows dryly, looking at her. Redder than the mark she had left on his hip. ]
Are you--
[ He was going to ask if she was sure, but she cuts him off as she exposes more him, still a little soft, but it's about to change as she lowers her head. He closes his eyes, holding on to this moment. As much as he loves giving head, does every time, he can't help not to love the way her mouth feels so good and so warm and it makes his stomach twist a little. Can't help but to be a lot into it either, using his free hand to push his jeans and briefs down to let it fall around his ankles. Parker bends over himself just a fraction, can't help not to, setting a hand flat between her shoulders blades, brushing up and down in gentle caress. ]
Angel-- [ Pleading, begging, whatever she wants it to be. ]
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Her hands balance her, lets her get the movement she wants as she takes him further into her mouth, as much as she can. He settles heavy against her tongue and she flicks with it as she draws her head back again. One, cold second of the air in contrast to the heat she'd wrapped him in before her hand shifts to cover the base of him in a steadier pressure. Quick little movement as she works him over once, then twice with her fingers, then she moves her mouth around him again, tilting her eyes up again to fix on him as she does it this time. Feeling the jolt of him echo all the way down her to her belly. She's always gotten the same curling warmth any time she touched him and he - responded to her like this. Where he can't seem to manage more than her name.
Which then she does, the worst sort of way: where her mouth closes around him and can taste him, feel him, let him settle in a way that's utterly unforgiving heat and she hums in response, all around him. Just to see - how much she could make him buckle but not quite fall yet. ]
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It's hard to think about anything but her mouth on him. It's not like it's something she indulges in often, so Parker is still trying to keep himself as steady as possible to not to break concentration. It takes all of his will to not to move his hips too much, even more so as she takes more of him into her warm mouth. He holds in his breath, biting his lower lip, a frown of deep concentration to keep steady when he feels her tongue over his sensitive skin. Can feel himself go harder in her mouth and-- Jesus, the hair at the back of his neck stands as she wraps her fingers around him. He swallows, like it's the hardest thing to do, breathing out shakily to try to steady himself.
It almost shatters as she looks up and, yeah, he's watching, how could he not? All red in the cheeks and ears. Closes his eyes with a moan when she works him with her hand and mouth, shuddering from head to toe. It curls inside him, slow and steady, she's so terrible to him.
Not as much as she is when she hums around him and he can't help himself. His knees buckle slightly and Parker quickly holds on to her shoulders for support, higher noise that's almost funny if it wasn't so hot
because he's definitely a bottom. ]O-oh, fuck-- Fuck--
[ What are words again? All he knows to do is bring the hand from her back to her hair, holding it back gently, still doing his best not to jerk his hips, feeling himself throb with her mouth around him, so unforgiving. ]
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( Says something, terrible most like, that it affects her in a way that's not at all symbiote and all about knowing she's the one doing this to him )
Doesn't let up, when his voice cracks, just moves from something slow and deep to - quicker, eyes back down and she moves her hand and mouth to the same tandem and it's quick short little push-pull motions against him. Not interested in giving him space or the ability to hold himself together. Made to get his attention ( like she didn't already have it ) and keep it on her. Nothing else, she'd promised, just this - just this sweet sort of pain that's about over-riding.
When she pulls back at last, panting quick and harsh and her lips red with it, she pushes herself upt that little to kiss his hips again, it's the closest she gets to mercy these days. Her hand still on him, brushing her thumb back and forth again the tip, fingers curled in a steady pressure, as she leans in to kiss his hip again. ]
Parker... [ Soft, slightly rough, sighing into his skin - not that her hand stops its movements, even then. ]
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But, jesus, she doesn't stop and Parker has no idea how to defend against that. He doesn't want to. He just holds on tighter to her, constant little noises as she sucks him off, and he can't believe she is doing that, and it feels so good, fuck, what-- why were they even there again?
When she pulls back, it doesn't feel like mercy at all - or maybe saving him from embarrassment from coming way too fast. He gasps like his breath had been stolen from him, bending slightly at the waist, can't open his eyes for a while. So close, pulsing in her hand, all weak. It takes him a couple of seconds to manage to look down at her, whimpering pathetically. ]
Y-Yeah?
[ He can barely talk with her hand still on him, moving his hips in tempo with it a little. Fingers in her hair brushing back gently, and even in this there's a softness to him for her that it's impossible to ignore. He wants to stay here forever, he wants to leave, she makes him feel all the things he shouldn't. ]
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Her fingers are still on him as she pushes herself up onto her knees again, kissing another line up his stomach. So, so, soft, nothing, nothing at all as she knows she has his attention utterly fixed on her. ] You didn't think I'd just let you come, did you?
[ Catches her teeth, bites as she curls her fingers tighter around him - because she'd given him a promise, hadn't she? All they do is hurt each other. Intends to do worse than that as she holds skin between her teeth. ] Come here.
[ She rolls back, and she finally takes her hands off him and uncurling her legs out from underneath her. It's to slide her pants down off of her, exposing herself eagerly as she props herself back on her elbows, legs parted, nothing in his way. Couldn't be more obvious. ] Now.
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His fingers tightening around him make him jump slightly, gripping his fingers around her hair out of reflex. He gasps her name, and then it dies out in a whimper when she speaks. Oh-- Jesus. He tries to focus on her again as she pulls away, Licks his lower lip as Angel pushes her pants off, biting on the inside. All for him, all for him. His heart beats. It's not enough, but it's so much already. He kicks off his boots and untangles himself from his pants and socks, before moving to help remove Angel's pants out of her ankles.
He doesn't challenge her command. Just smiles, breathless and red, hair curling outwards a little. Parker steps into her space, standing at the edge over her, His hands are slow and soft even through his callouses, starting at the knees and sliding down her thighs. He takes a firm grip, pulling her closer, slipping his thumb against the v-line of her hips, pressing them there in small circles. There's nothing that he wants to do more than to push inside her, to feel her around him, but he doesn't-- because two can play this game. ]
You're pretty terrible.
[ He accuses fondly, leaning down to kiss her knee. He lowers his shoulders as he kneels, bending over her, grabbing her legs to fit the back of her knee over the curve of his shoulder. Keeps his eyes on hers, because it's a vulnerable position, exposed like that, making sure it's okay (knows it is, but always makes sure). He pushes forward then, slow as he sets his hands low on her belly. Pinning her down like that, until he is low enough to lower his face between her thighs. Breathes hot over her, slow and agonizing, before parting her with his tongue, wet and warm, long, slow strokes, parting his mouth over her to make her sing. ]
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Should be expecting it, maybe, but maybe she was just expecting him to give into it utterly, not take something back from himself as his mouth closes over her and she's - not quite prepared for that, and less how slow he is with it as it curls over her. Her back arches up in a surprised sound, fingers scrambling for purchase underneath her as she tries to steady herself. No where to go out from underneath him where she's hooked over his shoulders and his hands pin her hips to the bed ( not that she wants to go anywhere ). Hot and aching and slick, but not as much as his mouth and she sucks in a lungful of air as she tries to steady herself where her head rolls back, pushing back on her elbows and twisted up as she feels the draw of his tongue against her, because it's a slow, slow agony and she whimpers high and sweet for him as he gives barely enough at all. ( never made secrets of how much she enjoyed it ). ]
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Parker leans his head down again. This time it isn't slow and it's all intent of making her unravel. He doesn't give her a break at all and he's not interested in torturing her. He finds with his tongue that little point of pleasure. Drags over it in unkind circles, before latching on to it, sucking with his mouth. Not hard, it's too sensitive for that, but definitely enough to drag her to the edge. Keeps her pinned down so she can't escape, sweet, sweet sounds making him groan against her. Vibrations that she had echoed before now pressed into her. He pulls one hand away from her to himself, gripping his hard-on between his fingers and stroking in tempo with her moans.
Apparently, he's not going to do anything until she unravels and the way he looks at her from between her thighs says it all. He's not interested in slow at the moment. That can come in a bit. He moves a hand to the inside of her thigh, keeping it spread for him to lean as close as he can possibly guess, closing his eyes as he tastes every inch of her, unforgiving in his pursuit. ]
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That goes - goes - goes when he comes back to her and it's a direct press, quick and fast and jolts through her in a way that has her legs jerk against his shoulders. Would slip if he wasn't holding her in place like that. Can't come down of it, because he doesn't give her space to. The pressure is steady - there - too much. Her fingers tug, pull, yank in the sheets, her markings hum, the crackle in the air as she rolls and twists under him. A writhing live wire that can't hold herself together when he does this to her. Smells the faint burning where her marked hand grips again into the sheets and the sear that churns in her body leaves smoking fingerprints and - that's not fair either, means she can't even sink her fingers into his hair to stop him from parting from her, pull and tug at him. Not that she can tell if she wants to pull him closer or pull him away, but he's deciding enough for himself, right then.
Feels him catch her by her thigh again, hold her apart for him. Nothing to do but stay there under him and her sounds - pitch, higher, begging, almost, to just - ( god, god, god. ) Never been quiet, at the best of times, but she's not left with much else in the way he grips her, works her over, leaves her so open to him. ( parts of her that no one else gets to know - all his ). ]
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Parker doesn't think of it right then however. Hears her moans rising in a beautiful crescendo, can feel the faint hum of her body and he doesn't have to open his eyes to know the glow of her runes. It only serves to spur him on. He pulls away the hand from himself and slips his fingers between hers, gripping gently. Here, here, he's here, and he will so she doesn't have to hold on. He'll catch.
Parker keeps his mouth on her, slipping inside a couple of times, before going back to stroke against where she's too sensitive. Moans against her, all purpose, pressed the humming against that deep part of her. Helping her over the edge and into bliss, not pulling his mouth away from her until he's sure she's finished, letting her slick be the only taste he knows and craves. ]
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- and she comes apart, her back arches, pushing up from her shoulders, toes curled up against his shoulders and her body curling in desperate around the feeling as she calls out sharp and loud, hips bucking in tight little movements against his mouth. Thundering, pulsing and her heart is beating loud in her ears and his movements are torture that she keens for.
Strings all cut loose, she snaps taught and then loose again as she crashed off from the high, eyes shut, singed air and easy limbed. So easy right now she might just forget to hold herself together. Sinking back into the bed again, breathing like he'd made her run for it. ]
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