& OPEN NSFW POST ( i. )

[aeneia]

NSFW OPEN POST ( I. )
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[komarran]

Wonderful, [ he grumbles. He's learned his lesson about presuming his relationships will end up in marriage so quickly after they had been conceived--or hadn't in the case of Laisa.

Their neighbor would either be disappointed at their "long" engagement or invited to the event when it happened. Only time would tell. ]

It doesn't bother you that someone thinks that?

[mahalakshmi]

[ She lifts her hand to muffle her laughter behind her hands briefly. ]

Better her sweet misunderstanding than the Vor Lords asking what I was doing fucking a Komarran below my station, or the English saying I slept with every one of my soldiers to ensnare them to my course. A Queen bothered by romantic rumors about themselves does not last long.

[ It's bemused, really, he had to know she had tougher skin than that. ]

[komarran]

[ He scowls at the first comment. Of course a Vor would say that. He shakes his head as he plates their food. ]

I'm surprised you let them walk away after saying that to you.

[mahalakshmi]

[ She shakes her head, moving to the table to sit once he begins to serve the food. Smoothing her hands over her skirts to settle herself. This is, after all, usual in its way. ]

I told him he was quite right, a woman of my position shouldn't touch a man that isn't her equal and is below her in every way. Which was why I would always choose you over him.

[komarran]

[ He laughs at that and flashes her a small smile. ]

You are the first to defend my honor in such a way.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Her smile pulls slowly, dry and sharp and vicious all in the same. ]

We have a tale, of the Goddess Sita. Who, when her husband, Lord Shiva, was insulted to her face by her own family, in rage, set herself to flames. Burning with her divine fire from the inside with the dishonour she felt.

[ She might have to play their games, but she played them very, very differently, and no more or less than to keep what she took. Hers is blood-worn etchings. She knows what she is, and she has never made herself out to be otherwise.

More than she means to say or should, her depth of feeling for him, but it was true and for that she would not offer apology. If they wanted to play in snide words about Duv, they would regret it, she would set fire to herself just to watch them burn. ]

Anything less, and I would not be worthy of my position.

[komarran]

[ Another tale from her country. He can't help but frown at the way the moral was symbolized. With a shake of his head, he moves to bring their food to the table. ]

I would rather you didn't go up in flames. [ He much prefers her whole and alive. ]

Any honor it would save me is not worth a life.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Her smile pulls slowly for it, her head bowing slowly to his word but otherwise she says nothing directly to that. She knew what she was, after all. ]

It's quite alright, I did not think putting myself onto my husband's pyre would serve anyone well. [ Light, dismissive. ] I find honour is just another term for how we must live with ourselves. But I will fight, you can be assured of that.

[ For him. The words left out as she sips slowly the rest of her tea. For a great deal more than him. Hopes he won't resent her want to be selfish about it - it was seldom anymore she was allowed too. ]

[komarran]

So long as you come out the other end of it, [ he concedes. He'd be the last person to tell her to keep her temper in check at all times. God knows he's let his loose more times than he'd care to admit.

Thankfully they lived in a different time. It wasn't perfect, but his presence was better understood and tolerated than when he had first arrived on Barrayar.

There's a second of hesitation as he glances from her to her usual seat before he decides he should. With their food in front of their seats, he moves to hold her chair out for her. ] Hungry?

[mahalakshmi]

[ For that she smiles and says nothing, not for the first time glad that who she was and her reputation obscured as to what she might find amusing that. Call it black humour and leave it at that.

Besides him being... gallant for her. Holding out her seat for her and - she smiles, ducking her head. She could allow it. There was no one there to berate them for it. With that, she sits, settling herself into the chair. ]

Of course.

[komarran]

[ He scoots her seat in and his hand brushes her shoulder as he pulls back to settle into his own seat across from her. They had done this hundreds of times now and yet this time felt different. ]

Besides planning your dinner, what are your plans for today?

[mahalakshmi]

[ She smiles, pleased, warmed - and yes, it is different. Feels, settled though, even as they learn the new steps. Intricate as any other dance. But to learn each other better for it. Glad that she could express it more openly now. ]

Training, after that I am not sure.

[komarran]

Sword training? Or are you practicing with the weapons of this era? [ No wonder she had thought to that for a potential profession if she was this adamant about keeping her skills sharp. It's a dedication he can admire.

There's slight hesitation before he adds, ] You are, as always, welcome to stop by ImpSec HQ.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Oh -? She looks up with that, it wasn't a place she thought to go. Government rather than a personal place of business. She never had a want to interrupt his duties. Hovering in a mouthful of her breakfast before she lifts her hand to cover her mouth, swallowing the food. Old habits,
of gentility rather than battlefield. She eats her meals carefully, in politest manners. ]

I would. I can do my routine in my blades well enough but - I still need training in yours.

[komarran]

[ It's not usual for a personal guest to visit a place of high security, but given her status as the empire's secret in a fashion he expects it would be tolerated. ]

If I am not available, I'm sure I could find someone that is to give you a rundown of how they work.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Secret in more ways than even they knew, but it suited her just fine to be kept in such a way. She had no desire nor pressing want for that kind of public acknowledgement - and even if she prickled every time she heard a dog growl in the dark, she had settled in quite comfortably here. Happy in her in between place.

Would be more in between, after she spoke to the Emperor and made him aware of the only other thing that worried her. ]

Certainly. Who would you recommend? I prefer my teachers to be thorough and well versed, nor inclined to talk down to me. [ Tall order on Barrayar, apparently. ]

[komarran]

[ Thankfully he has someone in mind though he has yet to speak to the man about the possibility. A progressive by Barrayaran standards and more open to the idea of galactic cooperation. ]

A colleague of mine. Captain Mikhail Avilov. I would introduce you and if he spoke to you poorly... [ He lets his words trail off though his meaning is clear. The man would be making a poor decision if he chose to speak down to her. ]

[mahalakshmi]

[ She nods her head, her smile pleasant. It's not that she needs any kind of help, pray never that - but that he would offer, would ensure that it wouldn't go unpunished makes her smile as she goes to take another mouthful of food.

Chewing and swallowing it as she leans back. Her fingers over her mouth before she goes to speak again. ]

If he comes with your recommendation, I am sure he will not.

[komarran]

Unfortunately, some carry surprises. [ Not always for the best though he will place his trust in the man.

Another bite and he's leaning back in his seat, trying to regard her subtly. She was as beautiful now as she had been the night before and part of him wonders if he had made a mistake in slowing her down. He may be lost splitting his attention between watching her and eating what remains of his breakfast. ]

[mahalakshmi]

[ She's busy eating for the moment, until she looks up and catches him, and in the first glance she carries on like it's nothing but in the second, her hand stays up. Her eyes lowered and it's - lady like, rather than the brusque way she forces herself most interactions. Softened at her edges for all she is scarred. ]

Duv, you are staring.

[ Worried almost, perhaps she had done something. ]

[komarran]

[ He's sheepish in a way that he never is as he ducks his head slightly and nods. She had caught him and it would serve no purpose to lie. ]

I was thinking how beautiful you were this morning.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Oh - and immediately she flushes with it. Snatching at the veil to draw it across the bottom of her face. Not that she is ashamed or particularly humble just that it has been - a very long time. ]

If you keep it up I will not be held responsible for your being late for work.

[ Teased back, like it is all a little too much. ]

[komarran]

[ He smiles, catching the flush in that brief second before the veil blocks his view. ]

I should go then. If you don't mind my leaving the dishes? [ Because he could stand to take a few minutes to help clean-up. ]

[mahalakshmi]

[ She shakes her head, no, it's no matter. ]

Not at all. Go, I will not have your commanders begrudge my affection for you just yet.

[komarran]

I will return when I can. [ Not that he wouldn't be seeing her soon, if she was able to make her way there.

As he stands, he watches her for another moment before swallowing the thickness in his throat and deciding to go for it. His inaction had been how he lost Laisa so easily, he would not lose her the same way. He moves to stand beside her and leans down to kiss her. ]