She moves away and there are more things to look at, that distract her in the short line from the kitchen to the dining room. At least, where she's being watched, she doesn't pry at it too much or get too thorough in moving anything about. Her hands firmly kept to herself. It's enough to help her stay awake at least.
Then she takes her seat, hands settled in her lap. Politely waiting and she keeps quiet for a moment to just let him cook. "Normally men without wives are quite at the mercy of their relatives. You seem perfectly adjusted. Is that normal too?"
He's content to cook in silence though once she speaks, he's turned enough towards her so his answer is unmuffled.
"I would hope so. I've been on my own for some time now." Since his youth. The circumstances of his planet hadn't allowed for a normal childhood or adulthood for that matter. But he'd made the best of it. When the risotto finishes, he plates it and begins bringing out both plates of food and drinks for them both.
"Not with your family? Do they live nearby instead?"
It's tricky to get her head around. To living so separately, to being cut off. It doesn't feel right. Palaces were teeming with people and she seldom slept entirely alone, not then, and not since, either. Once it had been with her ladies simply in the room, and since then, it was huddled together for whatever warmth could be afforded. But here he was so... cut off. Without people in any regard.
"Orphan," he answers simply. It's a fact he's come to terms with long ago. She's shared enough about herself that he's willing to offer a piece of personal history as an offering. Hopefully it'd make her more willing to share later. "My brother and father died when I was fifteen, my mother shortly after."
Not the entire truth though close enough to it. Whatever was left of his father had died that day as far as he was concerned.
"I am sorry to hear it." Something shifts, watching him. Her mouth pulling briefly. No wonder he lived so bare, so simply. She doesn't have stretch far on that, even if a family should take in an orphan, it didn't mean that would happen. So often they were just left and turned away as one more mouth to feed.
"You have done well yourself, despite it?" To the best of her knowledge she thought so.
He raises a brow at that as he finally takes his seat at the table with her. Food and drinks served, he ignores them for now and directs his full attention to her.
"Better than I would have if I were to follow my father's path," he answers. His family had been close to what passed for Komarran nobility and what had been left of it was thrown away after Barrayar's invasion of his planet. It had unfortunately worked out for the best with where he's ended up.
"I doubt you traveled this far to hear a random officer's story." There's sarcasm in his tone. She hardly chose to be here much less who she stayed with for the time being.
The prayer she breathes over the food is quick, a nod in thanks of it, and to him for making it for her. Slow, carefully mannered as she begins to eat. That oddness still, but even so, it's easier with him eating as well. A little less focused that way.
"No, not a random officer. You are apparently my keeper now. Should we not know each other a little?" It's teasing, not to drag him through something uncomfortable. "Perhaps an exchange would be easier? You ask something, and then I do."
He starts eating shortly after she does out of a politeness to ensure she's not eating alone. Normally he doesn't eat this close after dinner, but today had been exceptional and she needed the food.
"I don't intend to keep anyone," he says with a shake of his head. He had to watch her, but he wouldn't keep her confined against her will. Her suggestion however is more agreeable. "It would be fair. What about your own family?"
"I have been blessed with a large one, who has ever been good to me, whether I was born into it or married to." Another mouthful, swallowed quickly and when she smiles, her eyes crinkle with that warmth, genuine for once. There was nothing she held so dear as family, once upon a time. But for now, she lets that be all there. Remove the beginning from the end, and let that be enough to keep her gaze steady. " - So then, ah, my father was Moropant Tambe, and my mother was Bhagirathi. She died when I was very young. After that, my father went into service with the Peshwa -" hovers, and then translate that as best she can back to him. "- the military prime minister I suppose you would call it, of the Marathi Empire. I am Marathi as well, by birth and marriage. Though we were one among his dependants, he treated me like his own family, sometimes."
She takes a drink as she goes, small sips. "My husband was the Maharaja Gangadhar Rao Newalker, and when we married, I was very young and his family did their best to make me feel part of their home as well as help me grow into being Queen myself. We had two sons, one I bore myself, and when he passed, another we adopted." There's no hesitation, she doesn't consider an adopted child not the same. Arnand was as much her son as Damodar was. Both in law and in her affection for him.
Even if the reality of it was more complicated than that. She pauses there, watching him to make sure she hasn't somehow confused him with all that information. "Not too much so far?"
Names and titles he's unfamiliar with, but he practices the pronunciation a in his head as she continues. Eventually he would get them though it might take some time. He's still listening intently when she paused and he shakes his head.
"Not at all. I was a historian in my previous life before I joined the military," he confessed. "I dabble when time permits. This time or place isn't my specialty, but I am interested to hear all you would share."
However much that would be. He motions for her to continue as he slowly continues his breakfast.
In her own effort, as polite as she's being, she's inhaling the food, it steadily disappearing off the plate in one mouthful after another. It's anything she could want, in the end, it's warm and filling and enough of it that she can't go hungry with it.
His work though, that lifts her eyebrows. "A historian and a Queen, sir, I think you might be my only natural enemy." Not so seriously meant, laughed away comfortably. "Well, as long as it's not too much."
She drinks, another sip. Placing where she was up to on her too large family - "When I married, my father married again, his bride and I were near to the same age, so she was more a sister than a new mother in some regards." She laughs to that - what a relief Chimabai had been to her, at times. "She had a son, my own brother, as it follows, but I did not - " a grimace. " - well, war, it takes its toll in many ways."
As much as needs to be said, she thinks. That part is easy to follow. "My husband's family - well, there was quite a bit of it. Too many to say for now, but we had many dependents."
He almost laughs at her initial comment though the words that follow have him regarding her more seriously. As much as he's studied Barrayar's strange feudal history, it's not something he's ever wanted to truly live through. To have it be considered normal that one's father would marry someone the same age as their daughter is horrifying in a time of required body births and arranged marriages. He wonders what the woman thought of the relationship and family she became part of.
He catches the grimace and frowns. "My sympathies." Hollow words when one has lost much to events outside of their control. "Did you all live together?"
With as close-knit as they sounded, he wouldn't be surprised.
"Of course, what else are palaces but built for such thing? No one lives alone in them. You do not have hundreds of rooms if you do not intend them to fill them." She tries not to tease too much, it seemed obvious to her, but then - he lived here, in a small series of rooms by himself. That seemed normal to him, as much as living together was normal to her. "I had my own quarters, as did my husband, his mother as well." Obviously none for this father.
Ruling came with one cost, after all.
"Though there was some things kept apart. In my home, we keep Purdah or the practice of keeping women separate and veiled in public spaces, so in some regards, we had more space than poorer familes, or as I did when I was a child."
She drums her fingers a moment. There were other things too - "My father did not want to be too far from me, and he was Brahmin -" another pause, another explanation. The way of it that becomes clear, life as she had known it was a complicated layering of meaning and position. "Of the priestly caste. So my husband granted him land on which he built a temple to the God Vishnu, and he lived there, rather than in the palace. But he would be at the palace with me just as often." She smiles again. She clearly remembers it well, happily, warmly. Enough that when she finally is done eating and settles back it's still there. "This is very... solitary, in comparison. I could not imagine life without many people near me, all the time. Whether they be servants, my ladies or my family."
Tries to say it as mildly as possible, she did not want to offend him after all.
He tries to imagine life in a bustling palace. Any visits to the Imperial Residence had been for business only and even then Emperor Gregor Vorbarra had no close, blood family to speak of that would live there with him. Most of those there would be the Vorbarra armsmen and the servants with sparingly few nobility that had nowhere else to call home in the city of Vorbarr Sultana.
A very different life, particularly if women were treated as such in public spaces. Barrayar at least had not gone that far.
"Battle is not counted as a public space then?" he questions. She certainly hadn't come in shrouded from anyone on looking. "I admit, I'm used to smaller accommodations and people packed in closer. Barrayar has more space than the domed cities of Komarr."
It's the only way it should be, in her mind, filled with people, with life, with movement. The Fortress hadn't just been one of the most well-defended structures for a good distance, such as had been its point. It had been where the songs would be sung in the morning, where she could hear the clash of morning practice of her women. The animals in their stables, the cattle moving about.
Still, he catches her there and she laughs, bright and sharp. Relaxed in his company. "Not as such, no, but women are considered as capable, when they are trained such, and they too have the right to defend their homes that no one would contest." Or rather, no one contested her about it. "I do not keep my veils in battle. A little too much trouble when I have to be giving orders. Even so. Consider yourself lucky, most men do not see my face until we are somewhere more private."
Don't tease the poor man, Lakshmi, he was doing his best. "Ko-marr." She says it slowly, carefully, making sure she has it right. "I take it is very different there?"
"Consider myself honored," he replies simply. Hopefully she would be able to adapt. A veil would only draw attention here and pretending to be haut to hide herself would cause trouble on Barrayar. Going bare-faced was the best option whether she wanted it to be or not.
He nods. "Very different. It's an entirely separate planet. Barrayar has been isolated for 800 years from the rest of the Nexus, so its development has a greater variance than other planetary governments."
"You make me feel remarkably childish the way you say that. Another planet, being separated for 800 years." She flicks her fingers at him, her nose scrunching a little. "I feel quite sheltered in comparison."
But not so put out that it drives her curiosity from her. "Do you prefer it here, or there? Is that why you are no longer a scholar?" One question at a time was probably more sensible, but not thought of when she's avid with it. Her focus ever a singular thing, no different from when she'd sat in her armour in his office to now after a meal in the comfort of his home. Her gaze is direct, it never leaves his eyes. Watching him, like she could not look at anyone else but him.
He frowns. "That is far from my intention. It's an unfortunate side effect of the situation we're in." The fact that she's time traveled and so far removed from home makes this difficult to explain.
He meets her gaze even as he finishes the last bites of his meal. He should offer her more like a good host, but that could come after their question and answer session. Something about the way she held herself told him she'd do just fine on this planet.
"I prefer Komarr," he answers without hesitation. "Barrayar has its merits, but it's not home. Komarr is a recent addition to the Barrayaran Empire. Since the military is the best route for social mobility, I signed up for the Service Academy once it was opened to Komarrans."
She doesn't touch on Empire, on being conquered. Though, from what he says, he already had more than the English gave her own people. Oh many of them could join the English army. But they would never receive half the rank that the Captain in front of her hand.
But all the same, she nods, "I am glad to know that some things haven't changed, in all this time."
"I plan to go back there. My last posting was at the Imperial Security HQ in the capital." And it had been hard to leave when he had been reassigned here, but necessary. If he was to make it to his end goal, he had to continue moving up the ladder.
"You may be the first to claim imperial interest bring comfort," he says dryly. She's not the only one who can tease though his preferred route is sarcasm.
That picks her up, happily, far too used to just rolling over the top of others. Natural for a Queen, after all. All bright and keen with that playfulness.
"I am a ruler. It's very familiar. Having someone follow me about, read all my letters, right down to taking notes on the last thing I ate. Why, it's practically like home to me."
"Unfortunately our goal will be the opposite while you're here. The less attention you can draw to yourself the better." He waits a beat before continuing, "Unless you're expecting me to take such notes."
In which case she would be waiting some time, but he doesn't get the impression she cares much for that part of her former life.
"Oh, no, I am you will... use your... book of light, somehow." She nods to it, where it's sat nearby. "Or whoever it is that I keep seeing you all talk to your wrists to."
Which had to be... well, the strangest thing since arriving. Him, and Illyan, a man at a doorway when they passed through. She'd thought it was a mark of greeting before she realised that no, they were definitely all talking to someone.
"I assure you if documentation of your every movement is required, I am more than qualified." He wouldn't need to enlist someone else's help. However--
"I didn't get a chance to explain how any of these work. Do you want that to wait until you are rested?"
Her smile then is tired. "Perhaps another day. Finding yourself... apparently some 1000 years old to things around you is a great deal to take in."
Which is pointed, really, when she turns her face away to yawn. Wider than is at all polite, twisting herself a little and - there's a crack as her back arches up, the toll of battle, and not being able to take the blackwater to replenish herself.
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Then she takes her seat, hands settled in her lap. Politely waiting and she keeps quiet for a moment to just let him cook. "Normally men without wives are quite at the mercy of their relatives. You seem perfectly adjusted. Is that normal too?"
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"I would hope so. I've been on my own for some time now." Since his youth. The circumstances of his planet hadn't allowed for a normal childhood or adulthood for that matter. But he'd made the best of it. When the risotto finishes, he plates it and begins bringing out both plates of food and drinks for them both.
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It's tricky to get her head around. To living so separately, to being cut off. It doesn't feel right. Palaces were teeming with people and she seldom slept entirely alone, not then, and not since, either. Once it had been with her ladies simply in the room, and since then, it was huddled together for whatever warmth could be afforded. But here he was so... cut off. Without people in any regard.
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Not the entire truth though close enough to it. Whatever was left of his father had died that day as far as he was concerned.
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"You have done well yourself, despite it?" To the best of her knowledge she thought so.
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"Better than I would have if I were to follow my father's path," he answers. His family had been close to what passed for Komarran nobility and what had been left of it was thrown away after Barrayar's invasion of his planet. It had unfortunately worked out for the best with where he's ended up.
"I doubt you traveled this far to hear a random officer's story." There's sarcasm in his tone. She hardly chose to be here much less who she stayed with for the time being.
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"No, not a random officer. You are apparently my keeper now. Should we not know each other a little?" It's teasing, not to drag him through something uncomfortable. "Perhaps an exchange would be easier? You ask something, and then I do."
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"I don't intend to keep anyone," he says with a shake of his head. He had to watch her, but he wouldn't keep her confined against her will. Her suggestion however is more agreeable. "It would be fair. What about your own family?"
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She takes a drink as she goes, small sips. "My husband was the Maharaja Gangadhar Rao Newalker, and when we married, I was very young and his family did their best to make me feel part of their home as well as help me grow into being Queen myself. We had two sons, one I bore myself, and when he passed, another we adopted." There's no hesitation, she doesn't consider an adopted child not the same. Arnand was as much her son as Damodar was. Both in law and in her affection for him.
Even if the reality of it was more complicated than that. She pauses there, watching him to make sure she hasn't somehow confused him with all that information. "Not too much so far?"
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"Not at all. I was a historian in my previous life before I joined the military," he confessed. "I dabble when time permits. This time or place isn't my specialty, but I am interested to hear all you would share."
However much that would be. He motions for her to continue as he slowly continues his breakfast.
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His work though, that lifts her eyebrows. "A historian and a Queen, sir, I think you might be my only natural enemy." Not so seriously meant, laughed away comfortably. "Well, as long as it's not too much."
She drinks, another sip. Placing where she was up to on her too large family - "When I married, my father married again, his bride and I were near to the same age, so she was more a sister than a new mother in some regards." She laughs to that - what a relief Chimabai had been to her, at times. "She had a son, my own brother, as it follows, but I did not - " a grimace. " - well, war, it takes its toll in many ways."
As much as needs to be said, she thinks. That part is easy to follow. "My husband's family - well, there was quite a bit of it. Too many to say for now, but we had many dependents."
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He catches the grimace and frowns. "My sympathies." Hollow words when one has lost much to events outside of their control. "Did you all live together?"
With as close-knit as they sounded, he wouldn't be surprised.
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Ruling came with one cost, after all.
"Though there was some things kept apart. In my home, we keep Purdah or the practice of keeping women separate and veiled in public spaces, so in some regards, we had more space than poorer familes, or as I did when I was a child."
She drums her fingers a moment. There were other things too - "My father did not want to be too far from me, and he was Brahmin -" another pause, another explanation. The way of it that becomes clear, life as she had known it was a complicated layering of meaning and position. "Of the priestly caste. So my husband granted him land on which he built a temple to the God Vishnu, and he lived there, rather than in the palace. But he would be at the palace with me just as often." She smiles again. She clearly remembers it well, happily, warmly. Enough that when she finally is done eating and settles back it's still there. "This is very... solitary, in comparison. I could not imagine life without many people near me, all the time. Whether they be servants, my ladies or my family."
Tries to say it as mildly as possible, she did not want to offend him after all.
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A very different life, particularly if women were treated as such in public spaces. Barrayar at least had not gone that far.
"Battle is not counted as a public space then?" he questions. She certainly hadn't come in shrouded from anyone on looking. "I admit, I'm used to smaller accommodations and people packed in closer. Barrayar has more space than the domed cities of Komarr."
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Still, he catches her there and she laughs, bright and sharp. Relaxed in his company. "Not as such, no, but women are considered as capable, when they are trained such, and they too have the right to defend their homes that no one would contest." Or rather, no one contested her about it. "I do not keep my veils in battle. A little too much trouble when I have to be giving orders. Even so. Consider yourself lucky, most men do not see my face until we are somewhere more private."
Don't tease the poor man, Lakshmi, he was doing his best. "Ko-marr." She says it slowly, carefully, making sure she has it right. "I take it is very different there?"
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He nods. "Very different. It's an entirely separate planet. Barrayar has been isolated for 800 years from the rest of the Nexus, so its development has a greater variance than other planetary governments."
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But not so put out that it drives her curiosity from her. "Do you prefer it here, or there? Is that why you are no longer a scholar?" One question at a time was probably more sensible, but not thought of when she's avid with it. Her focus ever a singular thing, no different from when she'd sat in her armour in his office to now after a meal in the comfort of his home. Her gaze is direct, it never leaves his eyes. Watching him, like she could not look at anyone else but him.
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He meets her gaze even as he finishes the last bites of his meal. He should offer her more like a good host, but that could come after their question and answer session. Something about the way she held herself told him she'd do just fine on this planet.
"I prefer Komarr," he answers without hesitation. "Barrayar has its merits, but it's not home. Komarr is a recent addition to the Barrayaran Empire. Since the military is the best route for social mobility, I signed up for the Service Academy once it was opened to Komarrans."
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She doesn't touch on Empire, on being conquered. Though, from what he says, he already had more than the English gave her own people. Oh many of them could join the English army. But they would never receive half the rank that the Captain in front of her hand.
But all the same, she nods, "I am glad to know that some things haven't changed, in all this time."
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"You may be the first to claim imperial interest bring comfort," he says dryly. She's not the only one who can tease though his preferred route is sarcasm.
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"I am a ruler. It's very familiar. Having someone follow me about, read all my letters, right down to taking notes on the last thing I ate. Why, it's practically like home to me."
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In which case she would be waiting some time, but he doesn't get the impression she cares much for that part of her former life.
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Which had to be... well, the strangest thing since arriving. Him, and Illyan, a man at a doorway when they passed through. She'd thought it was a mark of greeting before she realised that no, they were definitely all talking to someone.
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"I didn't get a chance to explain how any of these work. Do you want that to wait until you are rested?"
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Which is pointed, really, when she turns her face away to yawn. Wider than is at all polite, twisting herself a little and - there's a crack as her back arches up, the toll of battle, and not being able to take the blackwater to replenish herself.
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