& OPEN NSFW POST ( i. )

[aeneia]

NSFW OPEN POST ( I. )
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[mahalakshmi]

[ One day, she'll undo her lifetime of restrictions enough to say more of what plagues her thoughts - but for now - now they're having breakfast, she pushes it aside. ]

Perhaps. Though I am going to have to start compiling ingredients for my gathering.

[ Because oh, she hasn't forgotten that yet. ]

[komarran]

You do have your own credit chit. [ With her own money to spend on whatever she so chose. He's noticed she doesn't spend excessively or frivolously. ]

Or you can wait until I can accompany you.

[mahalakshmi]

Oh, I didn't say buying yet, [ she corrects, mirth in tone and her eyes, biting at her lip with its mischief. ] I said compiling. I have to plan my dishes first. My entertainment around them.

[ A drum, and she happily rambles. ] I must find my performers as well, to see what they will dance before I select the dishes best to compliment them. It is not just a dinner. What sort of hostess would I be if it was just a dinner?

[ Silly man. ]

[komarran]

[ Right, she wanted to turn this into an affair to remember. He sighs lightly and keeps his attention on the hot oil. ]

...How large of a gathering are you planning? [ So he can prepare himself for what's to come. ]

[mahalakshmi]

[ she taps the number off on her fingers. ]

The komarran mothers and their families that have been kind to me. Those few members of your work that have taken care of me, intermittently - Ivan, was it? Lord Vorkosigan, his parents as well if they were so inclined. Perhaps some of the Vor I met last night that were not complete buffoons.

[to start with at least, who else? ] oh and of course, the woman down the hall from us that - [she reaches for her tea as she goes to speak, ] - thinks we are engaged.

[komarran]

[ Thank god Miles has offered to host this. He fully intends to shove most of this off on the other man if she finds she needs extensive help planning such a gathering though it's hard to ignore how good of a political hostess she would make if this is her first thought for entertaining.

That thought crashes in his mind at her final words. ]

--She thinks we're engaged? [ Suddenly all those strange looks she'd been giving them make sense. ] You haven't told her otherwise?

[mahalakshmi]

[with a mouthful of tea, she makes sure to look elsewhereas he catches up with what she just said. Giving him a almost sheepish ancestors out from under her eyes. Then shrugs as she swallows it like it wasnt so big of a deal. ]

Well, she enquired as to my living here. I did not wish to scandalised her about our arrangements, so...

[she makes a vague little hand gesture. ]

[komarran]

[ His attention on her is split as he has to get the damn fried pieces of dough out of the oil. Why was he only just now being told of this? ]

So all this time she's thought we were to be wed?

[mahalakshmi]

[because if he ever thought he was any better than another member of aristocracy he was in for a shock. ]

Ah, yes. I suppose you could say that. I said I had travelled very far to be with you, which is why we hadn't gotten married yet.

[she takes another very delicate sip as she goes on. ]

She said it was all very romantic.

[komarran]

Wonderful, [ he grumbles. He's learned his lesson about presuming his relationships will end up in marriage so quickly after they had been conceived--or hadn't in the case of Laisa.

Their neighbor would either be disappointed at their "long" engagement or invited to the event when it happened. Only time would tell. ]

It doesn't bother you that someone thinks that?

[mahalakshmi]

[ She lifts her hand to muffle her laughter behind her hands briefly. ]

Better her sweet misunderstanding than the Vor Lords asking what I was doing fucking a Komarran below my station, or the English saying I slept with every one of my soldiers to ensnare them to my course. A Queen bothered by romantic rumors about themselves does not last long.

[ It's bemused, really, he had to know she had tougher skin than that. ]

[komarran]

[ He scowls at the first comment. Of course a Vor would say that. He shakes his head as he plates their food. ]

I'm surprised you let them walk away after saying that to you.

[mahalakshmi]

[ She shakes her head, moving to the table to sit once he begins to serve the food. Smoothing her hands over her skirts to settle herself. This is, after all, usual in its way. ]

I told him he was quite right, a woman of my position shouldn't touch a man that isn't her equal and is below her in every way. Which was why I would always choose you over him.

[komarran]

[ He laughs at that and flashes her a small smile. ]

You are the first to defend my honor in such a way.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Her smile pulls slowly, dry and sharp and vicious all in the same. ]

We have a tale, of the Goddess Sita. Who, when her husband, Lord Shiva, was insulted to her face by her own family, in rage, set herself to flames. Burning with her divine fire from the inside with the dishonour she felt.

[ She might have to play their games, but she played them very, very differently, and no more or less than to keep what she took. Hers is blood-worn etchings. She knows what she is, and she has never made herself out to be otherwise.

More than she means to say or should, her depth of feeling for him, but it was true and for that she would not offer apology. If they wanted to play in snide words about Duv, they would regret it, she would set fire to herself just to watch them burn. ]

Anything less, and I would not be worthy of my position.

[komarran]

[ Another tale from her country. He can't help but frown at the way the moral was symbolized. With a shake of his head, he moves to bring their food to the table. ]

I would rather you didn't go up in flames. [ He much prefers her whole and alive. ]

Any honor it would save me is not worth a life.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Her smile pulls slowly for it, her head bowing slowly to his word but otherwise she says nothing directly to that. She knew what she was, after all. ]

It's quite alright, I did not think putting myself onto my husband's pyre would serve anyone well. [ Light, dismissive. ] I find honour is just another term for how we must live with ourselves. But I will fight, you can be assured of that.

[ For him. The words left out as she sips slowly the rest of her tea. For a great deal more than him. Hopes he won't resent her want to be selfish about it - it was seldom anymore she was allowed too. ]

[komarran]

So long as you come out the other end of it, [ he concedes. He'd be the last person to tell her to keep her temper in check at all times. God knows he's let his loose more times than he'd care to admit.

Thankfully they lived in a different time. It wasn't perfect, but his presence was better understood and tolerated than when he had first arrived on Barrayar.

There's a second of hesitation as he glances from her to her usual seat before he decides he should. With their food in front of their seats, he moves to hold her chair out for her. ] Hungry?

[mahalakshmi]

[ For that she smiles and says nothing, not for the first time glad that who she was and her reputation obscured as to what she might find amusing that. Call it black humour and leave it at that.

Besides him being... gallant for her. Holding out her seat for her and - she smiles, ducking her head. She could allow it. There was no one there to berate them for it. With that, she sits, settling herself into the chair. ]

Of course.

[komarran]

[ He scoots her seat in and his hand brushes her shoulder as he pulls back to settle into his own seat across from her. They had done this hundreds of times now and yet this time felt different. ]

Besides planning your dinner, what are your plans for today?

[mahalakshmi]

[ She smiles, pleased, warmed - and yes, it is different. Feels, settled though, even as they learn the new steps. Intricate as any other dance. But to learn each other better for it. Glad that she could express it more openly now. ]

Training, after that I am not sure.

[komarran]

Sword training? Or are you practicing with the weapons of this era? [ No wonder she had thought to that for a potential profession if she was this adamant about keeping her skills sharp. It's a dedication he can admire.

There's slight hesitation before he adds, ] You are, as always, welcome to stop by ImpSec HQ.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Oh -? She looks up with that, it wasn't a place she thought to go. Government rather than a personal place of business. She never had a want to interrupt his duties. Hovering in a mouthful of her breakfast before she lifts her hand to cover her mouth, swallowing the food. Old habits,
of gentility rather than battlefield. She eats her meals carefully, in politest manners. ]

I would. I can do my routine in my blades well enough but - I still need training in yours.

[komarran]

[ It's not usual for a personal guest to visit a place of high security, but given her status as the empire's secret in a fashion he expects it would be tolerated. ]

If I am not available, I'm sure I could find someone that is to give you a rundown of how they work.

[mahalakshmi]

[ Secret in more ways than even they knew, but it suited her just fine to be kept in such a way. She had no desire nor pressing want for that kind of public acknowledgement - and even if she prickled every time she heard a dog growl in the dark, she had settled in quite comfortably here. Happy in her in between place.

Would be more in between, after she spoke to the Emperor and made him aware of the only other thing that worried her. ]

Certainly. Who would you recommend? I prefer my teachers to be thorough and well versed, nor inclined to talk down to me. [ Tall order on Barrayar, apparently. ]